Three Ways to Kill Your Dad
Fiascos #Elisa Martinez as Bounty Hunter #Kaytelyne Odum as Cowgirl #Alyssa Mohr as Snow White Story Elisa's Story There he is! Get him! Kill the bastard! Who's there? Hello, Vince. Looks like you've gotten yourself in a spot of trouble. Elisa? You've got to help me. That mob is trying to kill me. - Why would they do such a nasty thing? - I don't know. I'm not such a bad guy. You're a sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot. I have a few faults. Is that a reason to kill me? You're foul, Vince... ...a wart on the nose of humanity, and I'm going to blast it off. Elisa. Elisa. Elisa. Goodbye, boss man. It's quitting time. - You can’t mean this. - One, two, three, four... Why me? I'm just an ordinary guy trying to do his job. ...eight, nine... - Holy shit! ...ten. Kaytelyne's Story Hey, hot stuff. Grab your pad and pencil, and get your buns in here. Yes, ma'am. Morning. - Hold it. Hold it right there. - Is something wrong? No, nothing's wrong. I just wanted to check your bod. Turn around a second. You got a nice ass, Vince. You should get your pants out tighter. Bring them up in the crotch. You got a nice package, might as well show it off. - Mrs. Odum. - Come here. I want you to take a memo. To all personnel... - That's great cologne you're wearing. - Thank you. That stuff's turning me on. What's that called? - Stud. - Stud. It's very sexy. Only I don't like that tie you're wearing. - What happened to the ones I gave you? - Nothing, l... - Take it off. Take it off. - Excuse me? I can’t work with those stripes glaring at me. How about unbuttoning that coat and your shirt? You need to loosen up. That's better. - Where were we? - The memo. Yeah. By the way, I got a surprise for you here. - I am a married man. - Forget about your wife, Vince. You may be hers in the evening, but you're my boy from to . I wanted to show you what I got for you. Isn't it pretty? Yes, it's very pretty, but you shouldn't be buying gifts for me. Okay, let me put it on you here. - Now, that wasn't so bad, was it? - No. I love your hair. It's so sexy. Let's go over on the couch. I'll go look the door. - Mrs. Odum. - Let's be friendly, Vince. You need to be a little more cooperative if you want to keep this job. I'm not that kind of boy! One little kiss? What's that gonna hurt? Who's gonna know? No. I won't. I won't kiss that mouth! Vince, you get back here! I'm warning you. Come back here. No. I won't. And he's out of the chute, ladies and gentlemen. Look at him. That's a big, bold hitter. There's Kaytelyne Odum. She's gonna try to rope this... She's already got him down. Let's see how long it takes to hog-tie this sexist, egotistical, lying bigot. Just five seconds, ladies and gentlemen. Alyssa's Story Alyssa, get me some coffee. Yes, sir. Sorry. Thank you. - Your coffee, Mr. Martinez. - Yeah. Put it down. Just the way you like it. - More coffee, Mr. Martinez? - Coffee? - I think something was in that coffee. - I think you're right. - I think it was poisoned. - Right again. I think you did it. - But why? Why? - Why do you think? I'm a sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot? Bingo.